FOUND!

My birth father contacted Cindy last night! He’s very open to contact. He told her when I turned 18 he waited.... when I turned 21 he waited .... but since I didn’t contact him, he gave up on the hope that I would.

He has a 3 1/2 year old little boy and a little girl who was born just 13 days ago! (so I have 5 - 1/2 brothers & sisters)

He lives in Texas. Theresa is going to fax him the contact forms today and he is going to fax them back.

Oh ... and his name is Barry.

Oh and yesterday Donna (mom) sent a letter via email to Cindy & she put it in the mail to me.

I’m so flipin excited! It’s finally going to happen!

Video

a video of Korby & his dad. (you'll have pick up both parts of the web address and put them together - it was messing up when I had them together on here.)

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/
new%20album/?action=view&current=korbykoon.flv

Paperwork In

Talked to Cindy just now - she got my birth mom's paperwork today. She is writing a letter to me - Cindy will forward it as soon as she gets it. She signed the consent for contact, but Cindy still needs to talk to my dad & get the ok from him before we can exchange addresses.
Cindy also said she talked to who she thinks is my dad's wife & left a message for him to call her. It's kind of a pain in the butt since she can't say who she is or where she works. So if he doesn't call back, Cindy will just have to call again.

She said everything is going along at a great pace - Donna (birth mom) got her paperwork back really fast in the realm of adoption searches.

something I sent to Cindy

I wanted to share an email I sent to Cindy. It talks a bit about where I am right now.

Wanted to share my new tattoo with you. I've wanted to get it for awhile, and now felt like the perfect time.

The triangle is for me (the adoptee), my birth family, & my adopted family.

The last week has been a very though provoking time for me. I've been reading through all my books about adoption again - not 'manual' books or anything, just stories about adopted people. One of my favorites I came upon by accident. I was at the Minot train depot & the library leaves old books there for people to take on their train journey. Well I just grabbed a book off of it for something to do... turned out to be about a girl who found out she was adopted & she decides to search for her birth mother. Molly by Any Other Name

Mom & Dad enjoyed reading my non-identifying information. Dad cried as I predicted. - They said they remembered it like it was yesterday as they read through about the day they came to get me. This whole search has brought us so much closer together - mostly because I can't wait to call and tell them every little bit of new information when I get it from you. I'm sure they feel like they are a part of the process. I hope one day we'll all have a chance to meet (mom & dad, me, and Donna).

adoption tattoo

I've wanted to get this tattoo for a long time and now seemed like the perfect time. The triangle represents me the adoptee, my birth family, and my adopted family.




This is where the idea came from - a piece of adoption jewelry.

Adoption Update

Well I just realized that I forgot to post my updates in my blog. In fact I've missed a lot of updates in this blog, so I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things.

Non-Identifying Info (March 2, 2008)

I got my non-id info today... here's what I got if you want to read it.

I'll post some 'feelings' and things about it tomorrow. (if you click the first one ... you can just hit back (right next to the photo of the page) and read through the rest of the pages.

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0001.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0002.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0003.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0004.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0005.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0006.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0007.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0008.jpg

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k62/koonfamily/?action=view&current=nonidinfo0009.jpg

Maybe?! March 3, 2008

Cindy wrote again today:

Hi! Not sure if I answered your question or not... Yes, you can just email the letter in for your birthfather. Most people do say that they hadn't thought much about the birthfather. It is nice when we can search so at the very least you can have both sides of your medical information.
I do have a possible phone number for your birthmother and I left a message for her to call me today.I will call you as soon a s I have more news.
Cindy :)

OH MY!!!! This could happen SOON! I hope she has the right number - I'm so flipin' excited!

Letter to my birth father

some parts are the same as the letter to my birth mom... but here is the letter I sent to my father.

And when the night wind
Starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping
Underneath the same big sky

sung by Linda Ronstadt ©1980

March 5, 2008

Dear Birthfather,

I called Cindy last week and she informed me that paternity was established in my adoption case, and suggested that I write a letter to you. I tried to start writing that night, but I couldn't think of anything to put down. The idea contacting you was so new for me - I don't know if it's that motherly connection I feel for my birth mom since I now have children of my own - or the fact that I never knew that you were a part of the picture until now. So I put off writing to you for days.

And then…

Monday (3/3/08) I got my non identifying information in the mail. I started reading it by myself until I got to the part that talked about you, and I decided to go visit a neighbor and finish reading it with her - I had so many feelings rush in at once that I couldn't cope with them on my own. From what the paperwork says you were every bit a part of my mom's pregnancy & my adoption process as she was.

It was really neat reading all the little blurbs they could share about what you were like and liked to do. I was reading them to my husband tonight and he said, "he sounds more like he should be my dad."

So I guess what I'm trying to say is - I hadn't really thought about having the opportunity to get to know you … but now I'm really excited that I might be able to now.

Let me tell you a bit about my life - Since I've already mentioned my husband I'll tell you about him first. Richard and I were married in April 2004. He is a mechanic and a member of the Army National Guard. He plays guitar and likes playing on his four-wheeler.

Richard and I have 3 children. Kyson just turned 3 - he is our little wild man. Kaitee turns 2 this month - she is our little princess (and she knows it!). Korby will be 1 in May - he is turning into quite the little ladies man (always flirting with the girls in our complex.)

Ok, now about me: I grew up on a small family farm in western North Dakota. I have 4 sisters and a brother. My little sister was also adopted - so it's been nice being able to talk to her about different feelings we both have. I grew up going to a Lutheran Church and loved going to Bible Camp every summer. I go to a Wesleyan Church now - though I don't get there as often as I should or want.

We now live in Ohio. I enjoy things like knitting, sewing, reading, playing on the internet, writing letters to friends back home, and texting people on my cell phone. I spend my days playing with my kids & talking to the girls in the complex where we live now.

I hope one day we can have a relationship with one another , though I realize that could take some time. There are so many things I want to share with you, and so many things I want to know about you. I imagine the decision to have contact with me is probably just as difficult as the decision to give me up was for you. Please know I don't want to intrude on your life. I'm not here to make you feel guilty - I would just love to know you. I have so many questions I want to ask you… like: What were you like when you were my age? Did you ever get married? Do I have any siblings?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Love,

Bekah

And the best news for now...
March 5, 2008

Cindy talked to my birth mom today! Her name is Donna - she has 3 other children (16, 13, and 10) they don't know about me yet. She still lives in North Dakota. She told Cindy there hasn't been a day she hasn't thought about me, and she wants to have contact.

So now Cindy is sending the paperwork to her tomorrow & we'll go from there.

She hasn't talked to my dad since I was born, so Cindy still has to try and find him.

when i know more... i'll post again

more adoption info

I got an email from Cindy today:

"Paternity was established for your birthfather which means that I will need to contact him too. Can you send me a letter for your birthfather? It can be the same one as your birthmother's but different start.Have a good day!"

It's strange, but I never really thought about having contact with him. It's not that I wouldn't like to have contact, but it never crossed my mind.

I guess it's that bond between a mother and baby that can never really be broken that makes me want to know her so much.

Well... I'm off to start working on a letter to him - I'll post it when I finish.

My Adoption

I talked to Cindy today (Cindy is the one doing my adoption search). She said she just worked on my file yesterday & got ahold of an obit for my great grandmother - so now she is going through the uncles to find a number for my birth mom or grandmother. She had my file on the desk right infront of her ... do you know how painful that was for me? She has a million bits of information about my adoption... but can't tell me anything. I crave so much to know something... anything.

She said I should have my non-identifying information next week - so I'll be like a vulture on that mail man!

If you know me at all you know I'm not a hurry up and wait kind of person ... so this is driving me crazy!

I'm not looking for a new mommy or anything.... but there is this whole other family out there that looks like me.... that shares my blood line.... the deepest parts of my soul yearn to know them.

I so much want that phone call from Cindy saying she had contact with my birthmother.

I so much want her to agree to some kind of contact with me...

so if your reading this ... and your the praying kind... pray she'll find her.... pray my b/m will understand my need/want/craving for knowing her...

Dirt Road

What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved.

There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.



People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride.

That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.



We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along.

There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.



Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun.

And there were no drive by shootings.

Our values were better when our roads were worse!



People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks.

Dirt Roads taught patience.



Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk.

For your mail, you walked to the mail box.



What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.



Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole.

At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.



At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out.

Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...at the end of a Dirt Road!

~by Paul Harvey~